Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
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