He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
