AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
