billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
