Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
