Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Im part way to drunk.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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