I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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