bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
