google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
