Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
honey bunches of taint.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
