i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
