Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
