So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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