After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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