she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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