I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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