real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.