If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
The pigeons can smell the fear
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.