is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...