Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
