did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Man Helps Gorilla Find His Next Tinder Date
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Women Confess The Weirdest Things Men Wanted From Them
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?