will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
