I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW