I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
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Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
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I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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