Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
