i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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