Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
