why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
