I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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