i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
