never play flip cup with pint glasses
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Everything about him screamed your future.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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