People with herpes should wear stickers.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
