She is in my trunk
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
