i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
My room smells like vodka and shame
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
