I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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