how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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