i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
tell me about the eggs
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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