Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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