No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize