after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Are we still banned from the library?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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