My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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