i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
