You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
