So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
