they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
