Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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