and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
