Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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