I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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