she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
