I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
