yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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