I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
