I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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