I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
You left your phone here
Wait...
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