having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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