It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Did I show you my penis last night?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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