chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Randomize
