Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
