Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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