You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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