I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
