I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
