East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
