batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
i am craving dick and cupcakes
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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