Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
